I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
