dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
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Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
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Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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