when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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