Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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