i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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