so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
