if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
