38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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