so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
