Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
