My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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