Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
