I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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