i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize