what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
