help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
