I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
