You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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