it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize