the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize