i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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