that's an acceptable place to lick
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize