Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
