My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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