It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
