You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
