I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
