Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
