pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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