i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
