awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
