You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
