he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
