Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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