what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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