He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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