Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
