the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
