if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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