I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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