You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
