At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
