nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I intend to get homeless drunk
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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