nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's JV to your varsity
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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