we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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