Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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