What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
