I just threw up on my dentist
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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