she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize