My pussy is not your playground.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
