okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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