we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
