How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
