I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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