i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
