I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize