Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
