I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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