nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
