i just had sex bonerless
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
