Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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