Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
