That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
