I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
