she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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