At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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