farters have to be the big spoon...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
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I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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