And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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