Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
